Perfectly Imperfect

the-gifts-of-imperfection-quoteI am sorry. I am so sorry. It doesn’t make up for all that I have done. It will never be enough.

I stumbled upon this today in a post I started over 2 months ago. It had the above apology and nothing else. No notes, no title, no images. Here is what it is about:

I feel tremendous guilt for so many things in my life. Some rightly so but most, not so much. I have made mistakes. I have been a terrible friend. I have been an unloving wife. I have been a bitch. I have been way to drunk and said and did things I truly regret. I have been a thief. I have betrayed trust. I have manipulated. I have cheated. I have denied forgiveness. I  have lied, and lied and lied again and never felt bad about it. I have engaged in reckless behaviors. I have broken the law. I have broken hearts. I have been a victim of rape. I have bad habits I am not willing to break. I have a temper. I have a fat body. I have a very small head. My eyes are extremely close together. I have stabbed people in the back. I have been preoccupied …a lot. I have put myself first. I have used people. I have led people on. I have been jealous. I have been filled with rage  and envy. I have been unbecoming. I have taken on more than I can handle. I have been avoiding  the truth. I have turned the other cheek. I have addictions. I have been dis-respectful. I have been pretentious. I have Mental Illness and it is not going away.

This is me. This is some of who I am.  I am imperfect. For the first time in 38 years I am OK with it.

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